Whether you're the best athlete of all time i.e. Serena Williams or a revered actress like Hlubi Mboya, when you are a black woman dating a white person, somebody somewhere will have something to say about it.
Our political history fuels the scrutiny of interracial relationships. After all, South Africa is the home of apartheid, the Group Areas Act, which corralled different racial groups into different geographical areas, and the Immorality Act, which made it illegal for black and white people to marry or have sex.
But it's 2017 and no one today should have to explain their dating choices or their sex lives. Still, no matter how many times you explain, there are some people who insist on asking questions that inspire all the eye-rolls.
We asked black women about the strangest things they were asked when they dated white men. We thought we knew what we were in for, but we were never ready.
1. "So... how's the sex?"
Uh... the same as sex with any new person?
2. "Are they South African? Because ... you know."
No, we don't know. Is a white person from overseas really less likely to be racist than a white South African?
3. "Oh, so you're into oil miners now?"
I don't know what you ... Actually, this doesn't even deserve a response.
4. "Do their parents like you?"
Seriously, parents could hate anyone.
5. "Are they woke?"
They could be black and asleep AF. Next question please?
6. "Do they bath every day?"
What does hygiene have to do with race?
7. "Oh, so you're a coconut, then?"
You'd better stop right there.
8. "So, he has a fetish?"
So what you're saying is there has to be something wrong with a white person who's into black people?
9. "Are you racist towards your own kind?"
Stop. Read a book. I'm black. I can't be racist.
10. "But how do you kiss? They have no upper lips."
This is just ridiculous. Walk away.
11. "But doesn't his dick look like a raw sausage?"
No. Just no!
If you liked this, here's some more: 7 More WTF Things Black Women Hear When Dating White People
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February is the month of love. At the Huffington Post South Africa, we take a look at how South Africans are finding and holding on to love. Author Shubnum Khan tells us about how cross-border romances are made or broken, tech journalist Nafisa Akabor looks at how social media replaced your meet-cute and lifestyle editor Sarah Koopman has some advice on how to get away from that tired old dinner-and-a-movie setup. Find them all and more here, or try these.
- 23 Years Into Democracy Interracial Couples Still Face Discrimination
- For South Africans Married To Foreigners, There Are More Than The Usual Hurdles
- Is Finding Love Easier In The Digital Age?
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- Yes, I Married The Man I Met On A Dating App
- Love in the Time of a Surgical Residency Is Not Easy, And I Am Lucky To Have It
- 9 Online Dating Fails That Might Make You Switch Your Phone To Flight Mode
- If You've Ever Had A Crush, You'll Get These 29 Memes and Gifs
- Can You Ace Our Quiz On SA Celebs' Views On Love?
- Watch: From DMs to Old School Courting: 11 Unexpected Ways To Find Love