People say the darndest things sometimes, and when it comes to interracial dating, it seems they just can't help themselves.
Last week, we wrote two stories on the things black women hear when dating white people and the reaction was incredible. While some people seemed to appreciate us tackling a topic that affects so many, others were quick to dismiss it as racist and unnecessary.
Our political history fuels the scrutiny of interracial relationships. After all, South Africa is the home of apartheid, the Group Areas Act, which corralled different racial groups into different geographical areas, and the Immorality Act, which made it illegal for black and white people to marry or have sex.
And just because we're 23 years into democracy, doesn't mean people's minds have changed.
We asked white women to share their experiences too and it turned out to be uglier than we could imagine.
1. "Aren't you able to make any white friends?"
Of course I can, clearly I've chosen not to be with them.
2. "This is just a phase for you."
So you know my life better than I do? Mmmkay.
3. "You're just making a statement, this isn't a genuine decision."
And you would know this how, exactly?
4. "Don't black people smell?"
You're rude AF. Go clean your mouth.
5. "Will your coloured children have coloured accents?"
This isn't a real thing and you know it.
6. "The cultures are so different, you won't fit in."
Because I'd fit right in with every white family in the world? We're just one giant homogenous group?
7. "He's your rebellion."
You're so intuitive. How did you come up with that?
8. "He's a nice guy and everything, but I just can't get my head around it."
Let's assume there's nothing in your head then?
9. "Doesn't it feel like he's going to swallow you with his lips?"
Now you're just being stupid.
10. "Is it true what they say?"🍆
11. "He's an old black guy who just saw his chance to get lucky with a white girl."
Ever stop to think I actually want to be with this person?
12. "We are tired of women like you stealing our men. You are using witchcraft! You have a magic vagina!"
If my vagina was magic, I would probably be with some super famous man or something. No?
13. "You're a whore/ slut."
While the rest of us are fighting against slut shaming, this is what you're doing? OK.
14. "But isn't their hair dirty?"
Is your hair greasy all the time?
15. "If my daughter dated a black person, I would kill her."
I can't believe this. Also you would be charged with murder.
16. "Do black people only do it in doggy style?"
17. "So how's Osama?"
Would you like me to find out how Hitler or Verwoerd are?
18. "But, what religion is he even?"
What religion are you?
19. "Your little samoosas are going to be so cute (referring to future kids)."
You're saying children are edible? You're problematic.
20. "So you like it spicy, huh?"
This is so lame and you know it.
21. "Is his penis purple?"
This doesn't deserve an answer.
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February is the month of love. At the Huffington Post South Africa, we take a look at how South Africans are finding and holding on to love. Author Shubnum Khan tells us about how cross-border romances are made or broken, tech journalist Nafisa Akabor looks at how social media replaced your meet-cute and lifestyle editor Sarah Koopman has some advice on how to get away from that tired old dinner-and-a-movie setup. Find them all and more here, or try these.
- 23 Years Into Democracy Interracial Couples Still Face Discrimination
- For South Africans Married To Foreigners, There Are More Than The Usual Hurdles
- Is Finding Love Easier In The Digital Age?
- Ditch The Dinner Date And Charm Your Fave With Something A Little Different
- Going From Hookup To Relationship -- It's Complicated.
- Yes, I Married The Man I Met On A Dating App
- Love in the Time of a Surgical Residency Is Not Easy, And I Am Lucky To Have It
- 9 Online Dating Fails That Might Make You Switch Your Phone To Flight Mode
- If You've Ever Had A Crush, You'll Get These 29 Memes and Gifs
- Can You Ace Our Quiz On SA Celebs' Views On Love?
- Watch: From DMs to Old School Courting: 11 Unexpected Ways To Find Love