11 People You See At Every. Single. Festival

Hippies, hipsters, VIPs and vanity bloggers – you’ll find these types at every music fest.

06/03/2017 10:07 SAST | Updated 06/03/2017 16:25 SAST

Music festivals attract all kinds. Here, we list the most commonly found party-goers who attend every single epic music fest.

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The 'Epic!' Bro

How to spot them: The Bro never travels alone, so expect to find them in a pack (which they'll probably call a Wolf Pack) or an entourage (modelled after the show "Entourage"). The Bro is there to 'score chicks, rage and chug' – their words, not ours. They're also there to consume litres of energy drinks to maximise their rock star fantasies.

Wardrobe staples: A true Bro will be shirtless for approximately 95 percent of the time, but won't remove his aviators, even at night.

They're here to see: Their fist pump dance moves aren't genre specific.

Catchphrase: 'Siiiiick'

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Cool Parent

The 'I'm Not A Regular Parent, I'm A Cool Parent' Parent

How to spot them: These party parents are guaranteed to have a surprisingly well-behaved toddler (wearing those massive earphones) on their hips or shoulders all weekend long.

Wardrobe staples: They'll be wearing an old band tee, from their best friend's now-defunct band from the '90s.

They're here to see: Anyone, as long as it's not Barney.

Catchphrase: 'Tyler/Hunter/Ryder/Madison – those aren't sweeties, please give them back to the nice lady'.

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Fashion Blogger

The 'Add Me On Snap' Influencer

How to spot them: They've brought their own photographer (yes, really) and have three outfit changes a day. They're probably staging a shoot next to some bales of hay, while everyone else is just trying to dance.

Wardrobe staples: Every spring/summer 2017 trend, and maybe even a full-sequinned evening gown – you know, to juxtapose with the dusty festival field.

They're here to see: Err, isn't everyone here to see them?

Catchphrase: 'Sorry, could you get out of my shot?'

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Kandi Kid

The Kandi Kid Who Never Grew Up

How to spot them: This is the person who's raving like it's 1996 all over again. They're here for PLUR – peace, love, unity and respect.

Wardrobe staples: Neon bangles (also known as candy), dummies or whistles, backpacks, glow sticks and a big smile.

They're here to see: You'll find them in the techno tent, even after the DJ has already packed up and left. They're here to eat, sleep, rave, repeat.

Catchphrase: 'I love you, man. I f*#@ing love you'.

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Guy with guitar

The Annoying Guy With The Guitar

How to spot them: The annoying guy with the guitar is easy to spot – he'll be the annoying guy with the guitar.

Wardrobe staples: A breathable cotton shirt, bootleg jeans, leather sandals, a fedora – and a guitar.

They're here to see: They're here for the real music, man.

Catchphrase: 'I wrote this song for you.'

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I'm with the band

The 'I'm With The Band' Hanger-On

How to spot them: The hanger-on will make sure you know that they're with the talent. It's all about the self-important air, and every wristband, tag and lanyard imaginable.

Wardrobe staples: They're dressed like the frontman's twin, in all the frontman's cast-offs.

They're here to see: Duh, their friend's band. Didn't you know they're with the band?

Catchphrase: 'I can get you into VIP. But only you, not your friends.'

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Hippie

The Free Love Ambassador

How to spot them: Hippies are synonymous with music festivals. Although they also believe in PLUR, they're not to be confused with the Raver. They're also not to be confused with the Pseudo Hippie who's a vegan (for the weekend) and whose idea of flower power extends only to their flower crown. The hippie is all about free love. Think Woodstock - and smell patchouli. They're here to celebrate Mother Nature and the oneness of humanity. Or something.

Wardrobe staples: Lots of organic cotton, 'harem' pants and hemp.

They're here to see: They aren't here to see anything, they're here to feel the music.

Catchphrase: 'It's all about love, man'.

The Braam Kool Kid Hipster

How to spot them: You'll know the hipster by their dedication to all things artisanal. Somehow, they're still able to start every morning with a craft coffee and pastry. Even in the middle of the bush.

Wardrobe staples: Doc Martens, rolled up jeans/denim shorts, second-hand top, Ray-Bans, smartphone.

They're here to see: The most obscure band on the new artist line-up.

Catchphrase: 'I used to really love <insert band you've never heard of>, but they got too commercial'

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Shoulder Surfer

The Superfan Shoulder Surfer

How to spot them: She's on some buff guy's shoulders near the stage. She's been there all day. You go to get a drink, some food and even take a nap and, when you return, she's still in the same position, only this time, she's holding a flag. How does she do it?

Wardrobe staples: Denim shorts, a crochet crop top and a flower crown, fingers always in a peace sign.

They're here to see: Every band. This superfan did not come to play – she's here to have the time of her life.

Catchphrase: 'Wooohooooo!'

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Festival First-Timer

The Festival First-Timer

How to spot them: The festival first-timer is pretty easy to spot – their camping gear is brand, spanking new, they've raided their local outdoors shop and have everything from a new sleeping bag and pop-up tent to a battery-operated coffee maker.

Wardrobe staples: Crisp cargo shorts, hiking boots and one of those all-weather puffer vests.

They're here to see: Whoever their local Top 40 radio station DJ told them was hot right now.

Catchphrase: 'If anyone needs a protein bar, I have some in my backpack.'

The Weirdo In The Furry Costume

How to spot them: This grown-up is spending the entire weekend as if they're headed to a furry convention – dressed as Winnie The Pooh, a Gummy Bear, or even My Little Pony.

Wardrobe staples: That soon-to-be filthy furry costume.

They're here to see: You'll feel like they're everywhere – whether it's the techno tent or the hip-hop floor.

Catchphrase: 'Anyone need a hug?'

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