LIFESTYLE

17 Things Every Woman Knows (And Every Guy Should Know) About Periods

11/04/2017 18:24 SAST | Updated 11/04/2017 18:24 SAST

We’re not going to beat about the bush here, periods are the absolute worst.

Aside from the obvious reason, there’s also the joy of being constantly worried about leakage, dealing with cramps and contending with breakouts. 

Guys, we hate to say it, but you’ve really got it easy. Don’t believe us? Here are 18 things that will inevitably happen to all women when Aunt Flo visits. (It’s probably best if you put your lunch down first.)

1. We poo, a lot...

Like 14 times a day or something.

2. In fact, we practically live in the toilet.

May as well set up camp.

3. We’re filled with ALL of the rage...

Annoy us at your peril. 

4. Not helped by the appearance of zits.

Thx hormones.  

5. We have to wear grown-up nappies to bed...

Ain’t nothing sexier than night-time sanitary towels.

6. And sleep face down.

It’s the safest way. 

7. We just want to eat crap...

Hi pizza. 

8. And pop pills (of the painkiller variety).

Make. the. pain. stop. 

9. Hot water bottles are our best friend...

The mottled burn marks are worth it.

10. As is the washing machine...

Stain remover on speed dial.

11. We become masters of transporting tampons...

Houdini ain’t got nothing on us.

12. And are on leak alert, 24/7.

Blood on work clothes = nightmare. 

13. We have to deal with the horror of blood clots... 

Vile, honestly. 

14. And the ghastly pain that is cramps.

Our womb lining is disintegrating, it’s going to hurt. 

15. There’s also the tossing and turning at night...

Can’t. get. comfy.

16. The random tears... 

Totes emosh.

17. And the lovely, lovely bloating.

Stretchy trousers, come at us.  

All in all, periods are bloody great...

SAID NO ONE EVER.