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Jeff Radebe Made It Clear Gen X and Baby Boomers Need A Guide To Sexting. So Here It Is.

We take for granted that everyone just knows what to do.

22/05/2017 12:45 SAST | Updated 22/05/2017 14:37 SAST
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Shot of a beautiful young woman taking a selfie while relaxing in her bedroom

OK everybody, we need to talk.

There's a big section of our population that did not grow up on the internet and it's important that we help them stay up to date with the times. This is just to ensure that they don't embarrass themselves a la Jeff Radebe on the weekend.

1. If you do not want to get caught, you probably shouldn't be sexting at all.

Sexting and sending nudes is a dangerous game. Revenge porn is a very real phenomenon and you need to be aware that the screengrab is not your friend. If you're famous, married or have something to lose at all then perhaps the smartest thing to do would be to creep like it's 1993 -- through Telkom landline calls and meeting up in person. Even these methods aren't a foolproof way to save yourself from getting caught because voice recorders and call recording apps don't need your permission to work on the other side.

2. Have consent from the person you're sexting

Like all sex, there has to be consent from both parties for it to be legit. No one likes unwanted advances so you need to make sure that the person you're sexting welcomes your naughty texts. When the person you're sexting is on board, it makes for a more enjoyable time for you both and there's a back and forth from both (or more) partners that will lead to a happy ending.

3. You need to know how to use emojis.

Texting is all about using emojis and in the sexting game there's a whole lot of ways to say quite a lot without using your words. As a beginner, these are the main emojis you have to know.

🍆 = penis

🍑 = booty

💦 = wet/ orgasm/ squirting orgasm

👅 = oral

There are a lot more ways to communicate what you want and often it's a matter of figuring out with your partner. Minister Radebe for example, could have figured out another way to request the C.L.I.T. and the nether regions he so desperately wanted to see.

4. Just speak properly and stop trying to be cool

It's not the early 2000s. None of us have Mxit anymore and we shouldn't be cutting corners when spelling things out unless it falls into the category of generally accepted acronyms. First of all, it's annoying for someone to have to figure out what you're trying to say in the middle of a heated moment and second of all, language actually does quite a lot for the imagination and for one's sex life. That's why erotic literature is a thing. I mean what looks better anyway: "IWTSOYF" or "I want to sit on your face"? You decide.

5. Use dirty talk if and only if you and your partner are both on board

Dirty talk can be super awkward for some people, even in real life. So just imagine having to type up or read dirty language if you're not really into it?

You need to try it out in real life first, and if you and your partner(s) have agreed on what terms you both like, then go ahead and use them in your sexts. Sometimes those dirty words are all your partner needs to get over the edge.

We hope this helps so we don't have anymore of this in the public domain: