THE BLOG

To Date Or Not To Date?

Do what's best for you. Don't let society pressure you.

01/12/2016 05:53 SAST | Updated 01/12/2016 05:53 SAST
Getty Images/iStockphoto

One may look at this as a simple question, but the truth is, getting an answer might not be as easy as one would think. Dating is a universal activity, with universal challenges, with a universal mindset. Dating has become so complex that when one asked about dating, the definition of what dating is, differs to every individual.

Dating for some is a complicated affair, with mixed emotions, plenty of tears, high-tempers and broken hearts. While for some, dating is beneficial, brings in income, pays the rent and leaves you wanting to date even more. For some it can lead to serious relationships, such as marriage, and kids, a house with a white picket fence.

As I said, dating is universal, from Cape to Cairo, people are dating. It does not matter how you do it, the fact that it is done and it will always exist. It is not even confined to age, children as early as the age of 5 are introduced to "play-dates", the idea sits in their mind and creates a norm.

Some say they date for fun, some say dating is going on "date", some believe that dating is not commitment and some would say "when you date me", "you are committed to me" and the list goes on.

I personally believe that what you say dating is, is what dating will be to you, at least the experience part of it. The experience you receive from your dating experience will either add or subtract to your person. Let's be honest, not all dating relationships are what we thought they would be or are what we wanted them to be, not because of dating itself, but because of the experience we had while dating.

So the question would not be whether you date or not, the question would be "what have your dating experiences been like?"

What you gain from your dating experience whether the experience was a good one is either going to contribute to the way you approach "dating". There is power in the feeling that experience gives to us.

Experience cannot be taken away as easy as we think it can, it has a semi-permanent effect on our behavior. So the way one would "feel" about whether to date will somehow be based on past experiences.

So to date or not to date? Do what is best for you. Date because you want to, not because of the societal pressures of "belonging". Date the way you want to, date who you want to according to the principles and values you set for yourself.

Date to create an experience you would repeat. If your dating experiences have been negative, date differently. Make different choices, approach dating in another way, it is said that it's only a fool who does the same thing over and over expecting different results.

Wish you all the best.