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Yes, I Married The Man I Met On A Dating App

It was honestly love at first swipe.

14/02/2017 05:10 SAST | Updated 15/02/2017 12:00 SAST

My parents gave up hope of seeing me walk down the aisle. Twenty years ago, if you'd asked my mother what she envisaged for me in a life partner, her list would look something like this:

  1. Is Jewish
  2. Makes you happy
  3. Comes from a good, warm family

Once I hit my 30s, that list changed significantly:

  1. Is employed
  2. Is of the opposite sex
  3. Has no piercings, tattoos or criminal record
  4. Lives in the same country
  5. Makes you happy
  6. Comes from a good, warm family
  7. Is Jewish

Now, this wasn't for want of trying. Some people's dating philosophy is simple: "You'll find love when you're not looking." To me, this sounded completely ridiculous and illogical. How likely are you to find that matching sock if you don't look for it? How likely are you to receive that promotion if you don't put in the conscious effort to be noticed? After all, your dream partner won't arrive at your door step courtesy of Mr. Delivery.

I treated my search for a partner like a serious job. I did it all – and dated them all. In business speak, I developed a basic marketing plan (created a profile), researched the landscape (dated – a lot) and negotiated terms and conditions.

While I'd tried other dating apps before, I only joined JSwipe in December 2014. My cousins were visiting from London and introduced me to the Jewish dating app – it was either that, or save up money to go on the JDate Cruise. I installed JSwipe and cast the net wide. So wide, in fact, that I set the search distance from Joburg to New York. (I did say I was taking this seriously, right?)

I made my first match on 26 January 2015 with Stefan. We went out for dinner and the next day I went to Cape Town for a week. While I was away, Stefan couldn't eat – he even went to the doctor to find out what was wrong. But, I could've given him a diagnosis because I was suffering from the same thing – love at first sight. In Cape Town, I told my friend that I thought I'd met The Guy. I was right, and that dinner date was the last first date I ever went on.

Stefan was completely different to what I thought I'd find in a mate (he's younger, a creative, and very laid back), but I knew early on that this wasn't like any other relationship. Within three weeks, I told him that we had a year to figure out whether this was for keeps. I was tired of pussyfooting around guys, not asking for what I want and letting them dictate the terms of a relationship. A few weeks before our one-year anniversary, he proposed.

I realised that spending as much time as possible searching for someone to love isn't as important as ensuring you're prepared to love once you've found someone worth loving.

During our first few dates, we compared how many matches we received on our various dating apps and deleted them all for good.

On 25 September 2016, my parents' initial wish list came true and I walked down the aisle to meet my life partner: he's Jewish, makes me happy and comes from a good, warm family.

Celebs Who've Stood The Test Of Time

February is the month of love. At the Huffington Post South Africa, we take a look at how South Africans are finding and holding on to love. Author Shubnum Khan tells us about how cross-border romances are made or broken, tech journalist Nafisa Akabor looks at how social media replaced your meet-cute and lifestyle editor Sarah Koopman has some advice on how to get away from that tired old dinner-and-a-movie setup. Find them all and more here, or try these.