If I was a member of the Beyhive, who loved Beyoncé "Beysus" Knowles to the point of believing everything she said in her music, I would have mad trust issues.
As most people who follow pop culture know by now, the queen of the hive and husband Jay-Z are expecting twins who will be an addition to their family of three.
That's all great for The Carters but now everyone is planning on being pregnant in 2017 and it's awkward for some people. These are the same people who identified with "Lemonade" from the first note and first line in Warsan Shire's poetry. Those were the people who were ready to smash the windows on their trash men's cars.
Then suddenly in the same damn video she built "Sandcastles" that washed away and held Jay-Z's hand.
Some of you still "found the strength" to leave but now while everyone is throwing out their #20sfebenteen/ #hoeislife wena you can't join #Siyamitha2017. This is the hashtag that started on Twitter last night where it was declared: Beyoncé has officially opened pregnancy season folks.
Pregnancy season is officially open🔓— Khaleesi (@aKhaleezi) February 1, 2017
Condoms off 🔊
Contraceptives in the bin 🔊
Pop like amaPopcorns 🌽#Siyamitha2017 🔥
There are so many times you could have been seriously confused by which way the queen is leading you.
1. First we were asking men if they were paying all our bills. Rolling our heads with attitude and shit.
2. Then we said: "actually you know what, it's fine. We're going to pay for our own shit and we're going to roll our heads with even MORE attitude."
3. And then either we were supposed to continue being independent and remember to cater to our man, roll over when he comes on home and serve him. Or just drop the independent stuff altogether.
4. Also sir, even though my life is in your hands and stuff, don't for a second think you're an "Irreplaceable" man. Some other guy will be knocking on the door in a minute. (Eish but where does this actually happen?)
5. Remember when she told us to be happily free and single and wave our hands in the air while she rocked a diamond ring in the same fire music video?
With a laugh even? Shu Beyoncé. Being her Stan is so much. It's too much. Good Lawd the invisible tears are running down my face in my head just thinking about it.