It’s hard out there for a single person.
Dating apps may help us cast wider nets, but that doesn’t make the process of actually going on dates any less difficult. Need proof? Below, 23 tweets that capture the undeniable awkwardness of single life.
tinder dude: what are you doing up at 3am 😏😏😏😏— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) February 12, 2018
me: heartburn 😏
First date idea: go through each others Google browse histories— Jodi (@jodi_payne) February 12, 2018
Me: has to explain why I Google zucchini so often
Who wants to date me. We will look at online menus but no talking or kissing.
[sees hot girl in bar]— Marf (@MarfSalvador) February 8, 2018
me: [takes wedding ring off] so... do you come here often?
her: give me back my ring
[end of date]— Jedi Cheesy Grits (@JediGigi) April 25, 2016
Him: I'll text you soon.
Her: Cool. I'll just sit here in your car until you do.
Relationship status: stopped shaving one leg so it feels like I’m rubbing my smooth leg against a man at night.— majjie (@illuminateddino) February 9, 2018
Here, read this article about wealth and income inequality.— Johnny Appleseed🔇 (@Enjoneer01) February 3, 2018
[speed-dating]— The Hyperdrive (@TheHyyyype) February 5, 2018
ME: wanna see a magic trick?
ME: yikes *writes "27 years old and still believes in magic" in notebook*
[FIRST DATE]— erin chack (@ErinChack) February 12, 2018
HIM: I’m really into mac—
ME: —aroni and cheese?
ME: is that also pasta
[First date]— CJ (@BrassBallsCJ) February 13, 2018
Him: I’ve always loved sailing and the theater.
*Flashback to me falling off the roof trying to reenact the “I’m flying” scene from Titanic*
Sometimes I call Comcast and add sports channels just so I can pretend to have a boyfriend.— Jedi Cheesy Grits (@JediGigi) June 12, 2015
[Speed dating]— Qwerty Jones (@QwertyJones3) November 14, 2017
HER: I'm really into astronomy
ME: the moon follows me when I drive
*on a first date*— Female Struggles (@FemaleStruggIes) February 8, 2018
ok dont let them know i stalked them online
them: my aunt--
me: theresa or sharon
[First Date]— Brynnester (@brynnester) February 5, 2018
Her: *to waiter* Can I ask what the Chef recommends?
Waiter: He recommends you leave now. You can do way better than this *nods towards me*
Me: What the actual fuck?
[date]— Floyd (@dafloydsta) March 1, 2017
HER: I absolutely love Star Wars
ME: Oh me too
HER: What's your favorite part?
ME: *nervously* Uh, when the stars go to war
[First date at a restaurant]— Ian Sausage (@stephenjmolloy) February 11, 2018
Her: "I'm a big supporter of charities."
Me: *trying to impress* "I didn't bring my wallet with me."
It’s like this waiter doesn’t even realize he’s my date now.— Darla (@ddsmidt) February 8, 2018
A gated community for lonely millennial women who've given up on men called Cat City Bitch— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) July 30, 2016
"This is where the magic happens," I whisper to my burrito.— batkaren (@batkaren) January 24, 2018
[first date]— Olive Gravy (@offbeatoliv) February 9, 2018
Me: what are u binge watching?
Him: oh i don't have Netflix
Me: *gesturing for waiter: check please