Surgeons must really have it tough. The things they must remove from some of our butts, though?
We highlight 11 below:
- The leg of a bed
"The story he gave me was that he and his partner were in the process of moving home, and he decided to take a rest by sitting on the divan, which was upside down. He told me that as he did, 'I got quite a surprise, as I'd sat down on a leg of the bed!'"
This was shared by Dr Ben Sergeant with the U.K.'s Metro. He's a former surgeon who's operated in the U.K. and U.S. The surgeon admits that he had his suspicions.
- Cement mix
According to this medical report, the couple explained that the man with concrete in his anus had asked his partner to stir up a batch of concrete before asking him pour it into his rectum via a funnel. The material then hardened and caused him enormous pain.
- A boiled egg
"A well-dressed older gentleman came in, wearing the sort of raincoat one usually associates with flashers. He claimed he'd been standing at a bus stop when a group of youths accosted him, and inserted a hard-boiled egg up his arse.
"It was the fact that the shell had been removed which made the story so amusing to me, and the likelihood so bizarre," observed Sergeant.
- A rat
"They (doctors) flipped him (patient) over and saw a tail coming out of his butthole. After doing a CT scan, they found a rat inside his rectum. The rat bit off part of his colon, and the man was suffering from internal bleeding, which is why his face turned blue.
Apparently the man decided to place a condom over the live rat to suffocate it and then place it up his butt so its breathing would hit his prostate and he would feel pleasure. The man made a full recovery, but the poor rat died," explained a nurse to Buzzfeed.
- A few small balls
Said Sergeant: "I had to break pieces off one of the balls, to make it smaller, in order to get it out...it took me two hours! I was actually thinking as I did it, I don't remember going to a lecture on how to get a f***ing soft ball out of some chap's arse!"
This was one of the items listed in the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's (CPS's) database of emergency room visits in 2017. It's not clear how the screwdriver got there, and what it's purpose was.
- Letter opener
According to the CPS's medical notes, one patient "attempted to dislodge a dildo from his anus using a letter opener". Both the letter opener and dildo ended up having to be removed.
- Body spray
A lawyer who admitted to having shoved the body spray up his rectum and removing it successfully in the past, failed this time.
The deodorant was Impulse Body Spay, 3cm in diameter by 17cm long, and emergency-room doctors had to sedate the man with spinal anesthetic and remove the "rectal foreign body" with their (sterilised, gloved) hands, reported Daily Cognition.
How it did not cut the patient's butt insides, is a wonder and miracle.
How and why, no one except the patient will ever really know.
- A beer bottle
A whole beer bottle.