THE BLOG
19/01/2018 04:58 SAST | Updated 19/01/2018 04:58 SAST

Here's What To Expect When Dating A Single Mother

When you first start dating a single mother, it might be months before you and the child(ren) meet.

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With more single mothers are entering the dating scene, you may find yourself dating a single mum – whether divorced or never married. In either case, dating a single mother can be tricky.

For one thing, dating a single mum means you're not just dating her, you're also dating her child. And assuming the child's father is in the picture – i.e., he's still alive and lives close by – at some point, you will have to deal with him too.

When you first start dating a single mother, however, it might be months before you and the child(ren) meet. She may want to be sure the relationship is going somewhere before she introduces you to her child or children.

No single mother wants to introduce her children to a new partner, and then have to reintroduce them to another one three months later, so she'll want to see how the relationship between the two of you progresses.

She may also need to be certain you like children, and that you are safe to be around her kids, before she introduces them to you. It's not uncommon for those who prey on children, or who have a violent history with women, to date a single mother – so until she is certain that you are safe, you won't meet her kids.

Another thing you might notice when dating a single mum, is how little quality time you get to spend with her. Since she has to plan all of her dates around a babysitter, a relative that loves spending time with her kids or live-in help, date nights might not be as spontaneous as you'd like them to be.

Once you have made it past the probationary period and she knows where the relationship is heading – and she's done a thorough screening of your criminal and background history – she will want to introduce you to her kids.

By this point, you might be both nervous and excited to meet them.

If it starts to look as if the two of you are getting really serious, it's likely her children will become an integral part of the relationship.

On the flip side, her child/children may not fall in love with you right away. Or you may wind up dealing with one or more children don't want to share their mum. If this happens, the key is to be calm, be patient, and be you. Sooner or later, they will warm up to you just like their mother did, and they will see all the wonderful things she saw in you.

Lastly, if it starts to look as if the two of you are getting really serious, it's likely her children will become an integral part of the relationship. You may even have to spend some quality time with the children alone, to see how well you get along when she is not around. During those times, it's important you continue being yourself.

However, it's also a good time to show them how much you care about them and their mother. The idea is to create a sense of safety and trust between all of you.

However, keep in mind that once you win their trust, they will expect for you to maintain that trust. So if you think you are not ready to commit to the mother and her children, now is the time to reconsider taking the relationship to the next level.

To conclude: if you're single and on the dating scene, then you have probably met some really great single mums. And while it's an adjustment to date a single mother, it can also be very rewarding.